The Difference Between “Never Give Up” and “Grasping”

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Helen writes: At the moment I am pondering the difference between “never give up” and “grasping”. Perhaps you can help me.

Lama Surya Das: This is a juicy subject, well worth pondering.  Holding on too long is one problem, for sure; on the other hand, letting go too soon and too easily is another extreme (unbalance) or mistake.

Firstly, never say never. Or don’t say it much. Or say always much, either.

Discovering right action and appropriateness for yourself as an active agent and being responsible for your own life (and family etc.) is key, via the pathway of your own experience and discernment, inner wisdom and intuition, etc.  This is a moment by moment and day by day process, as well as in regard to decisions with more long term ramifications— like marriage, commitments and projects, leave-taking, divorce, moving house or whatever.

Some people find it quite hard to say no, as you must know,  or to maintain healthy boundaries and balance in relationships, etc. Yet sometimes saying ‘no’ can be quite affirmative, as in learning not to spoil children. Sometimes one makes errors of omission by not doing what actually needs doing, which can be equally destructive—or just unsatisfying—  as errors of commission. Sometimes saying no to someone or something includes and implies a big yes to yourself or to something else more valuable.

Giving up might sound negative, yet letting go and equanimous nonattachment is often helpful and even prescribed.  And surrender of the right kind (and time and place, and for right reasons INCLUDING NO OTHER VIABLE CHOICE) can have great spiritual value and meaningful purpose.

I would say: Never give in to discouragement, and always cultivate an open and clear heart-mind and attitude—IF pressed to use totalizing words like always and never.

Submitted via www.surya.org on April 22, 2013

The Power of One

Published in The Huffington Post on April 22, 2013

One allegedly violent 19-year-old boy pretty much shut down our fine city of Boston last Friday. Not to mention the terrible damage he and another are believed to have wrought on innocent lives near the marathon finish line on Monday. Now four young people are dead and scores injured as result of the bombing suspects’ actions. Why? Will we ever really know? As authorities are working to get to the bottom of this, and prevent similar possible future crimes, let’s together strive to get to root causes and origins of our violent society and era, and genuinely do something about it.

As our city and surrounding suburban towns were in lockdown, forcing us to hide in our homes and stay off the streets, while the suspect(s) were intensely pursued, I was praying, meditating, counseling people, and holding the victims in my heart. This lockdown is something I have never experienced in this lifetime, even in the Indo-Pakistani War — with blackouts every night — or when I lived in India under Indira Gandhi’s national state of emergency.

What can be learned from this moment? I believe this troubled time calls on us to open our minds and hearts to the innumerable connections we share with others — in our families, communities, social systems, and on our planet — and strive to understand what it means to be human now, and why it’s imperative that we concern ourselves with the well-being of all others.

The power of one is inconceivable; let’s harness this strength and energy by empowering ourselves and each other to assume the high road of altruism, peacemaking, collaboration and lovingkindness in action. We are all first responders for someone. Let’s remember the power of one.

Homage to the Buddha sitting in your seat.

Don’t overlook her.

Practicing and Taking Vows on Your Own

                                             

John E.:

I have been reading your books for many years and am now.  They bring me peace and hope.  In my area we have but one Buddhist temple and it is Kadampa not Dzogchen. I have purchased a copy of The Buddhist Path.  I’m seeking advice: can I just practice Dzogchen, take the Bodhisattva vow on my own and do my best in my own way?  Thank you so much.

Lama Surya Das:

Sure, you can fruitfully and even joyously just practice Dzogchen, take the Bodhisattva vow on your own, and do your best in your own way, as you say…no problem there.

Buddha himself said, on his deathbed lying beneath a Sal tree in N India, these final words, “All conditioned things are impermanent, work out your salvation with diligence.” Then he slipped into nirvanic peace and deathless ease, as ‘tis said. I suggest that you could learn a little more about Dzogchen View, Meditation and Action as well as the Buddhist path of enlightenment from my many YouTubes, online articles, tapes, CD’s, and related books, as well as teachings by other spiritual leaders and elders.  Learning and practice go well together, and help keep one deepening and heartened.

Onwards and inwards!  Good luck!

Lessons Learned From These Olympics

I love sports and have been involved with athletics since before I can remember. I claim a lifetime batting average of over .400, including softball and stickball as well as school and little league baseball teams. My parents too were into it. My uncle Bill Miller even tried out for the Pittsburgh Pirates major league baseball team, after playing on the travelling US Army team in Europe during WW II.

Although there’s a lot going on, including business and politics, the Olympics principally showcase some of the world’s greatest athletes doing what they do best, like the great and masterful yogis they are. Seeing them makes me think, aspire, and inquire likewise: what if we practiced our Dharma as much and as assiduously as these athletes practice their chosen sport? I believe it would be very well for us and our world.

I thought I might share with you this fine article by Spirituality and Practice founders Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat:

Watching the Olympics as a Spiritual Practice

Ask The Lama

Spiritual Responsibility and Cult Awareness

Blue hued BuddhaQ.   Lama, what do you think about Geshe Michael Roach; is he a genuine lama and teacher? His Diamond Mountain center looks to me like a dangerous cult, and the tragic events in the Arizona desert, which have come to light in recent weeks makes me, as an elder in the helping professions, wonder: are there any overseeing professional organization or supervision, safeguards and standards for teachers and group activities in the Buddhist tradition?

A.   Twenty years ago, when there was quite a bit of troubling public news concerning dangerous cults among spiritual groups, I co-authored a white paper called “Spiritual Responsibility” with my Boston neighbor, cult deprogramming expert Steve Hassan. At that time the guru Bhagvan Rajneesh was deported from this country, and Scientology was banned in Germany, etc.  Aum Shinrikyo, the purportedly Buddhist group in Japan, which spread poison sarin gas in Tokyo subways, was under intense criminal investigation and eventually found its leaders in prison.

Now people are asking about the Diamond Mountain University and Retreat Center incident in the Arizona desert. (NY Times, 6-11-12) Having spent a significant amount of my life training in silent Buddhist meditation retreats, I have seen that, aside from the undeniable benefits of such rigorous contemplative and monastic practice disciplines, isolation and extended silence can for some also have dangerous repercussions.  This may be the case for the insular spiritual group founder, Geshe Michael Roach, and his devoted followers.

This scandal is very troubling as well as troublesome, and raises a lot of questions about spiritual centers and accountability. Michael’s group is not the only one whose retreats might look, to the outside viewer, like a mere refugee camp, trailer camp, barracks or prison. Traditional long intensive practice retreats and monastic training rules of reasonable efficacy are well known  to sometimes take unprepared people over the edge, practices including long term silence, fasting, celibacy, sleep deprivation, restricted outside contact, secret teachings, proscribed readings, etc. All these can lend an aura of cultic activity to a fairly harmless group such as any ordinary short term yoga retreat or prayer enclave, things that we ourselves may be engaged in without remaining very conscious of or vigilant regarding potential dangers and downsides. Having experienced these austere conditions and austerities myself for lengthy periods of time, including several years on end, I know that these things are effective and can be appropriate; it’s all a matter of degree, intensity, intention, management and coordination, to be balanced and rounded out with various healthy and nurturing mitigating factors for purposes of group well-being and inner individual flourishment. Unfortunately, unstable personalities who are subjected to such conditions are especially vulnerable; I’ve found it useful to thoroughly screen and prepare potential trainees who wish to participate, including observing individuals over a period of time and assuring that they complete shorter intensive retreats before becoming overly involved in long term retreats in often marginal conditions.

It is worth pointing out that experienced cult experts make a significant distinction between generally harmless cults — like the die-hard Boston Red Sox fans, or the Yale Scull and Bones Secret Society— and dangerous cults such as David Koresh’s Waco group, and Jim Jones’ Jonestown fanatics—, and point out that all cults are not created equal nor are equally harmful.

There is not much professional oversight or organizational hierarchy in the Buddhist tradition, although every authorized and qualified teacher answers to their own teacher and their own lineage tradition to a certain extent and traditional monasteries in the Old World had their own systems of checks and balances, including communal monthly rituals and acknowledgements of wrongdoing. This has been the case for over twenty five hundred years, since the time of the Enlightened Buddha. Eastern disciplines like Buddhism are fairly new in this modern world and our Western culture; we each have to rely on our critical judgment, kindred spirits, elders and the study of other traditional sources of knowledge in order to make intelligent decisions.

“As a simple Buddhist monk” and not as a pope-like figure, the Dalai Lama himself has spoken out on many occasions “against ethical lapses, exploitation, abuse and corruption among spiritual teachers”. He believes that “we should be Twenty First Century Buddhists, socially engaged and open to science and psychology and other religions, developing critical thinking through modern education”. He has exhorted us to be vigilant and discerning, self-critical as well as tolerant— supporting each other in spiritual friendship, collegiality and community— for the sake of advancing a balanced and harmonious, wise, altruistic, and actively engaged compassionate path of enlightenment, of genuine benefit to the entire world.

An old Tibetan saying goes like this:  “Don’t spy out the flea in another’s hair while overlooking the yak on one’s own nose.”

Ask The Lama

Spiritual Responsibility and Cult Awareness

Blue hued BuddhaQ.   Lama, what do you think about Geshe Michael Roach; is he a genuine lama and teacher? His Diamond Mountain center looks to me like a dangerous cult, and the tragic events in the Arizona desert, which have come to light in recent weeks makes me, as an elder in the helping professions, wonder: are there any overseeing professional organization or supervision, safeguards and standards for teachers and group activities in the Buddhist tradition?

A.   Twenty years ago, when there was quite a bit of troubling public news concerning dangerous cults among spiritual groups, I co-authored a white paper called “Spiritual Responsibility” with my Boston neighbor, cult deprogramming expert Steve Hassan. At that time the guru Bhagvan Rajneesh was deported from this country, and Scientology was banned in Germany, etc.  Aum Shinrikyo, the purportedly Buddhist group in Japan, which spread poison sarin gas in Tokyo subways, was under intense criminal investigation and eventually found its leaders in prison.

Now people are asking about the Diamond Mountain University and Retreat Center incident in the Arizona desert (NY Times- June 11, 2012) Having spent a significant amount of my life training in silent Buddhist meditation retreats, I have seen that, aside from the undeniable benefits of such rigorous contemplative and monastic practice disciplines, isolation and extended silence can for some also have dangerous repercussions.  This may be the case for the insular spiritual group founder, Geshe Michael Roach, and his devoted followers.

This scandal is very troubling as well as troublesome, and raises a lot of questions about spiritual centers and accountability. Michael’s group is not the only one whose retreats might look, to the outside viewer, like a mere refugee camp, trailer camp, barracks or prison. Traditional long intensive practice retreats and monastic training rules of reasonable efficacy are well known  to sometimes take unprepared people over the edge, practices including long term silence, fasting, celibacy, sleep deprivation, restricted outside contact, secret teachings, proscribed readings, etc. All these can lend an aura of cultic activity to a fairly harmless group such as any ordinary short term yoga retreat or prayer enclave, things that we ourselves may be engaged in without remaining very conscious of or vigilant regarding potential dangers and downsides. Having experienced these austere conditions and austerities myself for lengthy periods of time, including several years on end, I know that these things are effective and can be appropriate; it’s all a matter of degree, intensity, intention, management and coordination, to be balanced and rounded out with various healthy and nurturing mitigating factors for purposes of group well-being and inner individual flourishment. Unfortunately, unstable personalities who are subjected to such conditions are especially vulnerable; I’ve found it useful to thoroughly screen and prepare potential trainees who wish to participate, including observing individuals over a period of time and assuring that they complete shorter intensive retreats before becoming overly involved in long term retreats in often marginal conditions.

It is worth pointing out that experienced cult experts make a significant distinction between generally harmless cults — like the die-hard Boston Red Sox fans, or the Yale Scull and Bones Secret Society— and dangerous cults such as David Koresh’s Waco group, and Jim Jones’ Jonestown fanatics—, and point out that all cults are not created equal nor are equally harmful.

There is not much professional oversight or organizational hierarchy in the Buddhist tradition, although every authorized and qualified teacher answers to their own teacher and their own lineage tradition to a certain extent and traditional monasteries in the Old World had their own systems of checks and balances, including communal monthly rituals and acknowledgements of wrongdoing. This has been the case for over twenty five hundred years, since the time of the Enlightened Buddha. Eastern disciplines like Buddhism are fairly new in this modern world and our Western culture; we each have to rely on our critical judgment, kindred spirits, elders and the study of other traditional sources of knowledge in order to make intelligent decisions.

“As a simple Buddhist monk” and not as a pope-like figure, the Dalai Lama himself has spoken out on many occasions “against ethical lapses, exploitation, abuse and corruption among spiritual teachers”. He believes that “we should be Twenty First Century Buddhists, socially engaged and open to science and psychology and other religions, developing critical thinking through modern education”. He has exhorted us to be vigilant and discerning, self-critical as well as tolerant— supporting each other in spiritual friendship, collegiality and community— for the sake of advancing a balanced and harmonious, wise, altruistic, and actively engaged compassionate path of enlightenment, of genuine benefit to the entire world.

An old Tibetan saying goes like this:  “Don’t spy out the flea in another’s hair while overlooking the yak on one’s own nose.”

Odiyana Buddhist Center June 15-16, 2012 Melbourne, Australia

Lama Surya Das will be in Melbourne for a two day event to help raise funds for the Odiyana Buddhist Center. The Friday night event will also feature a live performance by ARIA award winning performer Kavisha Mazella.   More Information

Live Your Life…

“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.

Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

 

One Spirit Learning Alliance 4/13-4/14/2012

Who Made God?

Big questions sometimes come from little people.

Q. My four-year-old son has asked me “who made God?” How do I answer him? A: Thanks for your son’s excellent question which reminds me that 2,200 years ago the Chinese philosopher Mencius said: “The great man is he who does not lose his child-like heart.”   The direct answer is to your child’s question is: No one made God. However, I would not necessarily respond to my child that way. I might say—and I am just finger painting here, not working on the elaborate oil canvas that such a universal discussion really deserves—the same thing that made us, made God. This may seem like circular reasoning, but remember to whom we are talking. If lovingly and attentively offered, this answer will be understood far more by the child than by either you or me! Let’s not underestimate the natural spirituality and wisdom of children. But the question—Who created the Creator?—is intriguing and one of the principle questions the Buddha asked before he became enlightened. Buddhism continues to explore and debate it today. In Buddhist thought, everything has a cause. Karmic causation—the Law of Cause and Effect—creates all. Buddhism takes an agnostic stance on the existence of any creator or ultimate deity. (However, Buddha was an agnostic, not an atheist, as the Pope mistakenly writes in “Crossing the Threshold of Hope.” That’s an important difference.) Judeo-Christian scripture tells us that God created everything, and that nothing comes before God. That is all well and good. But let us reflect for a moment on the nature of God, and what scripture actually says, and see if we can’t get closer to what it might mean for us today. The first line of the Gospel according to John in the New Testament says, “In the beginning was the Word.” In the original Greek language, it was: “In the beginning was the logos.” It doesn’t say God. So what does this passage refer to? In the beginning was WHAT? Logos can mean word, verb, law, fundamental principle, energy, and so forth. Contemporary rabbis such as David Cooper tell me that God is a verb: “God is not what we think It is. God is not a thing, a being, a noun. It does not exist, as existence is defined, for It takes up no space and is not bound by time.” God is seen by mystical Kabbalists, like my friend David, as a process, an endlessly radiating and interactive manifesting, rather than an entity that once upon a time begat all things. This is not contradictory to Buddhist thought, although I must say that Buddhist philosophy makes a subtle distinction between the kind of monism that such mystical theists profess and the radical nondualism that the Buddhist Middle Way represents. So, perhaps we should ask ourselves: What is the most fundamental, primordial, and underlying substratum of our existence right here and now—the very bedrock of reality? Let’s try to inquire so deeply, honestly and persistently, and with an intense passion for truth that we contact and connect with THAT. For if it is everywhere and eternal, as Western Scriptures say, it must be also here, now. In this way we are drawn closer to the mystery of creation.